apocalypsehow | Hargreeves Mansion

Since Harold's house had been a bust (aside from finding his corpse), the brothers Hargreeves headed back to the mansion to see if Vanya had come home.

"No sign of Vanya, she's not in any of the rooms." At least not yet.

Klaus	"She's not downstairs either," Klaus chimed in. Because he was being helpful in his sobriety! His sort of forced sobriety thanks to Ben.
Diego	"Well, I'm out." Again, he had a serious concern about leaving his girlfriend with Luther for too long. How many facts about the moon had she learned since he's been away?
Five	Five rolled his eyes, but did nothing to keep him from going. But it left him alone with Klaus, though. Who he still had questions for. "Hey, did Dad say anything about the apocalypse when you spoke to him? Any clues to how it happened?"
Klaus	"No, no clues. Truly terrific shave," Klaus replied, rubbing his cheek like it would prove his point there. "But no clues."
Five	You truly were the least useful of all his siblings, Klaus. Five stared at him for a moment longer before letting out an annoyed sigh to walk away like Diego had.
Klaus	Wait, wait, wait! Now Klaus had questions! "You know, come to think of it, he did mention something about my potential, and how I've barely scratched the surface of my--"
Five	Oh, Jesus. Not sharing time. "How did he know about the apocalypse?" Five demanded, cutting off whatever ridiculous thing Klaus was trying to say.
Klaus	"I don't know." Because clearly dad was never going to be the sharing type. Even in death. "But listen. This whole jumping through time things of yours, how did you know you could do that?" Because Ben was doing some stuff that might have been brand new powers stuff on his end of things.
Five	"I didn't." He just thought maybe. And the rest had been surly pride. "You'd realize that if you were actually sober."
Klaus	"Hey, I am sober. I've been sober for almost two days now." Which, honestly, was a new record for him.
Five	"Who are you kidding, Klaus? I've seen you fidgeting all day," Five said. Because taking his frustration out on Klaus was clearly the best option when things weren't quite adding up like he wanted them to. He should be happy now, right?
Klaus	"Well I guess we're both fighting our addictions then," Klaus shot back.
Five	UH. EXCUSE YOU. "I'm not an addict."
Klaus	Wait, wait! Klaus was totally onto something here! "Yeah, you are," he replied, looking more closely at Five like he was reading him. "You're addicted to a drug called the apocalypse."
Five	"You're wrong," Five sputtered, not liking where this was going at all.
Klaus	"Denial," Klaus said with a sad, sad little sigh like he was disappointed in Five. "The first sign."
Five	"You and I are not the same." And he'd stab anyone who said otherwise!
Klaus	"I've seen that look in the eye of someone who doesn't know who they are without their high anymore," Klaus said. Because he totally annoying brother-ed his way into a real, serious issue here. "Trust me. You gotta just let it go."
Five	He really, really had. Because now Five had to flounce out of the room to go find Dolores so he could feel happy that they'd managed to avert the apocalypse and he could relax for once in his life. Yes. That was exactly what would happen. "We're celebrating," he told her, starting to make margaritas after he carefully set her up at the bar. "Now what?" Five said, repeating her question as he poured out the drinks into two glasses for them. "I don't know. I'm open to suggestions."
Hazel	Grab another glass, Five, because someone was knocking on the door. Hazel could probably use several drinks.
Five	Five sighed and looked up at the ceiling for a moment because everyone else was too busy to answer it for him. "I'll be right back," he let Dolores know before going to answer the door, drink in hand.
Hazel	It was just never going to be weird to see a child day drinking. "Hey, old-timer."
Five	He was older than you and had more kills than you, Hazel. Don't even. "Do you have my sister?" Five started out with. "And if not, would you like a margarita?" Professional courtesy.
Hazel	All right, that was new and strange. Hazel shook his head to the first question since he didn't recall kidnapping anyone else this week, and then went to follow Five inside. He wasn't about to turn down a free drink.
Five	"You here to kill me?" Five asked, seemingly otherwise unbothered by the gun in Hazel's hand.
Hazel	Hazel looked down at his hand. "Oh, shit, sorry. Old habits." Surely you understood, Five. "I can understand why you might feel that way."
Five	He did, actually. "Well you attacked our house, tried to kill my family, and kidnapped my brother," Five said, pouring a third glass for Hazel now that that was cleared up.
Hazel	"Well there's not much I can do about the past," Hazel said, accepting the drink. He was fairly sure it wasn't poisoned. "I'm not the only killer in this room. You got your own bloody history, pal." Hazel chuckled. "Speaking of which, that job you did in Calhoun, that shit's legendary. Can't believe I'm actually sittin' here talking to you, after all--"
Five	Okay, he had to nip that one right in the bud before Five blushed or something at the fanboying. "Hazel," he broke in. "Why are you here?"
Hazel	Oh shit, he totally got caught gushing, didn't he? Embarrassing. "Well, I, you know--"
Diego	Yeah, that sentence was being cut off because Diego came into the room and kicked Hazel in the back. Diego had been looking for Hazel and Cha Cha for days and one of them was having a drink in his living room, what the hell?
Five	"Diego, stop." He was trying to have a civilized conversation here!
Diego	Civilized conversation was for losers! Which was why Diego was not going to listen to Five and just start wailing on Hazel because he was not a loser. He was a cool guy who beat up people in his living room with no warning.
Five	"You know, before you kill him, you might want to hear what he has to say." Five certainly wanted to know.
Diego	Was Diego listening to reason? Absolutely not. He probably needed the focus to avoid getting punched by Hazel. "I'm going to kill you for what you did to Patch."
Five	"Or don't, see how that goes," Five sighed, taking a sip of his margarita.
Hazel	Was everyone in this family insane? Honestly, Hazel would have gotten Diego in a hold sooner if he wasn't so surprised by getting kicked while enjoying a margarita. He got there eventually. Calm down, angry little man.
Diego	Diego did the opposite of calming down. He couldn't really move his body but he could bite Hazel's ear. Biting was totally fair in a fight.
Five	Okay, okay. Five had to break up the children's squabble now. He abandoned his drink to needlessly teleport over to knock Diego out. "I draw the line at biting," he told Diego's unconscious form. Then turned his murderous attention to their guest. "Hazel, whatever you have come here to say I suggest you make it quick before he comes around."
Hazel	Oh thank god. Hazel took a second to catch his breath before just spitting it out. "I left my partner, quit the Commission, and came to volunteer to help stop the apocalypse."
Five	Which, well, did he expect laughter at that? Because that was where Five was at in his life after dealing with this for so long.
Hazel	'Kay, not the reaction he had been expecting. "What on earth could be so funny to you right now?"
Five	"Before I answer that, why do you want to help us?" Five asked, picking up his drink again.
Hazel	"Let's say I have a vested interest in a donut shop," he said with a shrug.
Five	"Well I hate to break it to you pal, but you're a day late and a dollar short," Five replied with a relieved sigh. Because it was relief, Klaus. He felt relief here. "The fact that you are here right now means, without a shadow of a doubt, that the apocalypse is over."
Hazel	"Really?" Well, shit. There went the cool factor in this endeavor. "How do you know?"
Five	"The mark is dead," Five said, offering over the margarita for him. "Found him this morning. You were the last known unknown left in the equation." Well, him and Cha-Cha.
Hazel	"Shit, really?" That did call for a margarita, Five, you are correct. "So what now?"
Five	"You know, to be honest, I don't know." Which was the only thing Klaus was right about. The only thing. "I've been chasing this thing for so long I never really thought about the day after." Other than margaritas. "What about you?"
Five	"I'm done with all this madness," Hazel said. "Time to start over. You should do the same."
Five	"That's easier said than done," Five sighed, looking down at his too young hands for a moment.
Hazel	"It doesn't have to be hard," Hazel said. "I mean, think about it like this, if you never time traveled, you never got caught up with the Handler, what would have happened?"
Five	Five turned his focus over to Diego's unconscious form. "I guess I would have grown up to be an emotionally stunted man-child like everybody else around here." Woman-child in other cases.
Hazel	"Well there you go," Hazel said, draining his margarita and getting up to leave. He had a donut shop worker to see. "Now you can grow up. Good luck."
Five	Speaking of man-children... "Hazel. One more thing before you go," Five said before Hazel could leave. "Which one of you was the trigger man for Detective Patch?" He could do this thing for Diego. Because, honestly, he really did care about them all. Despite all evidence to the contrary.
Hazel	"Trigger woman," Hazel replied.
Five	"Huh, that's too bad," Five replied. "That gun could have cleared my brother's name." Rather than his fast talking or calling in favors from work friends to get out of jail free.
Hazel	"Well today's your lucky day, amigo." Hazel pulled out both guns he had on his person and placed them on the bar. "Take 'em both. I'm done with this life."
Diego	Hazel had only been gone for a couple minutes when Diego regained consciousness. "Shit..." What the hell happened? And why was there glass everywhere?
Five	Because you got bitey and Five knocked you out with a glass. "Good, you're up," Five said, glad to see there probably wasn't lasting brain damage. "Ready for a drink now?"
Diego	"Where is he?" Diego asked, rubbing the back of his head.
Five	"I let him go."
Diego	"You what?" But--but his revenge!
Five	"Now that the apocalypse is over it's time for the fighting to stop." Was that for himself or for Hazel? Tough to say. "Hey, he didn't shoot Patch. His partner did."
Diego	"So what? They were both there that night," Diego said.
Five	Five sighed and pushed the guns across the bar at him. "This half of their partnership gave me both of their guns, which will clear you of attempted murder."
Diego	Five, you never let him have any fun. Diego looked at the guns for a moment before leaving the room in a huff. Fine. He wouldn't go kill people. He'd go hang out with his girlfriend now that the apocalypse apparently wasn't happening. With maybe a stop to get some aspirin and an ice pack on the way.