apocalypsehow | Alleyway Outside of Elliot's

Five only stumbled for a moment as he landed in the same alley they'd all arrived in after teleporting to avoid being tossed aside like DJ Jazzy Jeff.

"Jeez. When did the monkey learn to fight dirty?" he grumbled to himself, straightening his suit jacket.

Lila	Of all the alleys in all the cities -- how had Lila known to be staking out this one? Don't worry about it. She threw a rock down from a rooftop to get Five's attention, smirking down at him.
Five	Of course she did. Because this day wasn't annoying enough as it was. "Son of a bitch," he grumbled, looking up at her.
Lila	Satisfied that Five had seen her, Lila backed away from the ledge. A moment later, she ran by the opening of the alley, making a point to turn her head and watch him as she ran. Come on, Alice. Follow the white rabbit.
Five	Even if it wasn't important to further the plot, he would have followed. Because what in the actual hell? That shouldn't have been possible. But then again, he was stuck in the past with his siblings so a lot of shit shouldn't have been possible. Which was why he followed her into what looked to be an abandoned warehouse. So nice to have one of those around, huh?
Lila	Well, where else was one supposed to have an illicit meeting here in 1963? Oh no, though! He'd caught her! Look how convincingly sad Lila was about that as she turned to face him, abandoning her attempts at running and holding her palms out invitingly. Gosh, it was almost a familiar set of behaviors, right? Leading Five to a remote location, acting all cute and innocent once he caught up -- where had that been seen before?
Five	"What's your game, crazy lady?" he asked, not at all liking the weird deja vu here. Nuh uh. Not at all.
Lila	"Who cares?" Lila asked brightly. "You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me." So put up or shut up, buddy. (She was kind of looking forward to this for a few reasons. That trick of his looked fun.)
Five	"Oh, I remember," Five replied with a smile that was definitely more feral than friendly.
Lila	"Well, come on, big talker," she taunted, all but making 'Come at me, bro' hands. "Let's get this done." She kind of needed to goad him into making the first move.
Five	Of course she did. "All right," Five replied, teleporting behind her to deliver a sucker punch. At least, that was the plan.
Lila	Too bad how Lila predicted that exactly -- somehow -- and was already whipping around to kick Five in the face as soon as he appeared. And with that, she ran deeper into the warehouse, her steps light and playful and deliberately easy to follow.
Five	Five scowled and gave chase, feeling more and more certain of what he was walking into here. And no, it wasn't great. But he was still giving chase to try attacking her again with more concentration being put into it.
Lila	You know, once a blow actually connected, Five was very possibly the most even match to her skills that Lila had ever seen. At least in this whole hand-to-hand thing. Respect where it was due. So while she was able to get a hit in on him here or there, it was a hundred percent real when she took Five's foot to the chest and was sent reeling several feet back. That was fine by Lila, though. She cartwheeled over debris, ducking just out of Five's sight to disappear. Literally.
Five	Okay, that wasn't right. That wasn't right at all. Five followed after her, looking around in confusion to find where she'd managed to go. Because he should be the only one around able to do that, thank you very much.
Lila	"I'm waiting," Lila drawled from across the room, where she was leaning against a beam with a smile. Guess what, Five? When you made your way over here, the exact same thing was going to happen. This was more fun than she'd anticipated it being.
Five	Which meant he had to teleport after her to put an end to this stupid game so he could get back to more important matters. Like smacking Luther for picking the worst time ever to grow a spine.
Lila	Lila laughed from where she was now on the other side of the warehouse, not even winded. Or, as the case may be for some in this case, not even nauseous. "Fed up yet, Five?"
Five	Five bared his teeth before teleporting after her for another go at putting her down. Because now he was just annoyed as he'd processed that deja vu to come to a few conclusions. She was good, but she wasn't that good once he was able to get his hands on her.
Lila	She really wasn't that good, which was how Lila got her feet kicked right out from under her and landed with a thud on her back. And she was clearly not especially alarmed about her position. She had her mother here for backup, after all, and had this whole time. "You're better than I thought."
Five	"And you're entirely average," Five replied. Which wasn't fair, she'd shown some remarkable creativity there. Then, without looking away from her, he said, "You can come out now."
The Handler	With as much drama as possible, her heels clicking against the concrete floor, The Handler made her way out of the shadows. With a cigarette holder clutched between her teeth. And while wearing a leopard-printed housecoat. Hadn't you missed her, Five? "Well done. You figured it out," she remarked, sounding as indulgently pleased as a teacher of remarkably gifted elementary schoolers.
Five	"Well it wasn't very hard. She fights like every one of you Commission drones." Was Five planning to let her up anytime soon? No. Not really.
The Handler	"Hmm." She smiled down at Lila, clearly unconcerned about helping her get up, either. It would happen eventually. She had more important things to worry about right now. "No matter, here we are. Together again. I've got to ask -- did you miss me, you little shit?"
Five	Five took that as complete permission to press his foot down a little bit harder. "You've got a good nose," he said. "Planting her in a psych ward, taking advantage of my simpleton brother, that was smart." Told you so, Diego.
The Handler	"Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," The Handler commented proudly as Lila struggled and choked against Five's foot.
Five	"She's your-" Five started to say with a little frown.
The Handler	"Daughter," The Handler supplied easily. "Yes. And she's my only one, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't crush her windpipe." If you didn't mind.
Five	Five made a face before letting up the pressure to allow her to roll away with an annoyed sigh. He needed to hear why she lured him here anyway.
Lila	As Lila tottered to her feet -- she was fine, thanks, don't anyone worry -- she stared at Five, only reeling a little bit. "I am so going to enjoy killing one you someday."
The Handler	"Lila, darling, would you give us a minute, please?" The Handler asked pleasantly, smiling over at her daughter. The smile was real. So was the dismissal.
Five	Which just meant Five had to be Five and add, "Yes, the grown ups need to talk."
Lila	Lila reacted to her dismissal with all the staid professionalism you'd expect. Which is to say she rolled her eyes, scoffed aloud, and went so far as to casually fling a paint can off a table as she stomped away.
Five	It was like she was part of the family already! "What is it you want?" Five asked, turning his attention back to The Handler. Who was, unfortunately, still alive.
The Handler	"Do you like jazz, Five?" Music discussion. What a great reason to have him chase her adoptive daughter halfway across town for her entertainment!
Five	"I'd rather lick a cheese grater," Five replied, trying to move this conversation on to the damn point. He had things to do here!
The Handler	She just gave him one of those fond, condescending looks and shook her head. "Jazz is like a beautiful woman. Complex, emotional, hard to please. She doesn't just give it to you...she makes you work for it." So, to catch everyone up to speed: nothing had changed. Still making weird innuendos at an apparent fourteen year-old.
Five	It was just how they interacted! "I'm really hoping you're going somewhere with this," Five said with an annoyed sigh.
The Handler	"Under my leadership," she continued theatrically, "the Commission would sound more like...." The Handler closed her eyes, whispering the last word as she flared her hands. "Jazz."
Five	"And what about the board of directors?" You know. The little kink in that plan.
The Handler	"Well, that's where you come in." Come on, Five. You knew it was! She even reached out to give his nose a little affectionate boop.
Five	"Nope," Five said, baring his teeth like the feral possum person he was. "No it isn't."
The Handler	Oh, Five. Such a wet blanket. "In exchange for the assassination of the board," she wheedled, "I'm willing to get you and your family out of this timeline and back to where you belong."
Five	"And what about World War III that's due to kick off in a few days?" Five asked. Because don't think he didn't remember her opinion on the last apocalyptic event.
The Handler	"Once you and your siblings are gone," The Handler explained, business-like now, "that goes away."
Five	"And the apocalypse when we get back to 2019?"
The Handler	"That too," she crooned. She was just that good.
Five	Uh huh. Sure. "I distinctly remember you telling me the apocalypse had to happen, that it was supposed to happen," Five replied.
The Handler	"Back then, I was toeing the company line," she explained, letting him in on her plan, "but once I'm in charge...." She crept up behind Five's back in a way that for sure wasn't strange or weird, and started scatting a little tune in his ear. Jazz. "...we can riff."
Five	"Jazz," Five said, letting the wheels turn in his head for a plan here. Or a backup plan maybe. And he was just so used to being creeped on that he wasn't even reacting to it.
The Handler	"Exactly." So glad they were on the same page now, Five! Just as it was always meant to be. The near-cuddling was also familiar and nice. The world, back on its axis.
Five	"What about the board of directors, hmm?" he asked, picking up those breadcrumbs she was putting down because he just couldn't help himself. "I mean, nobody knows who they are."
The Handler	"Correct. But once every fiscal quarter, they get together for a board meeting." She'd been planning this for awhile.
Five	Oh, she really had been. "Where?"
The Handler	"The question is when." Of course it was. "They meet somewhere in the timeline, but never in the same place twice. The exact location and date of these board meetings is the most closely-guarded secret in the Commission." Almost like they were worried about someone...you know, staging a coup.
Five	Weird! How weird! "But you know where it's gonna be, don't you?" Five said, knowing exactly where this was going and weighing his options in it.
The Handler	You knew she did, Five. "Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't?" she asked, holding her hands up helplessly as she crossed over to get into his space again.
Five	"I need some time to think about it," he said, letting it happen because either old habits or, you know, possibly needing to take her up on this ridiculous plan.
The Handler	"Fine. But remember, doomsday's right around the corner, and the way things are going, I'm your only option." Just as it should be.
Five	"Not yet you aren't." There was still the family dinner that would just go swimmingly.