apocalypsehow | A random field | At the same time as the hole digging

Why didn't Five just teleport out to find Vanya? Because it was time for That Meme. That's why.

They passed each other slowly out on this ridiculous country road before Five was putting his stolen car into park and clambering on out to meet her.

Vanya	Sometimes you sacrificed convenience for memes, it was true. Vanya was clambering out of her (non-stolen) car as well. "What are you doing here?"
Five	"Looking for you. We're going back to 2019." Ish. 2019-ish.
Vanya	"What are you talking about?" Question of the day for Five, it seems!
Five	"Look, I really don't have time to explain right now, but I've found a way home. We have 30 minutes to leave." And he wasted so much time getting to you, Vanya! So much time! Also because the explanation would probably get him yelled at because of the whole mass murder with an axe thing.
Vanya	"What about my friends?" Yes, friends. Sissy and her were just gals being pals. "I can't just leave them here."
Five	Vanya, why did your love life always lead to the end of the world? Like. Real talk here. "Vanya, you don't have a choice in this, okay? Doomsday will happen if you don't come with me." Because of your love life.
Vanya	Ohhhh you were messing with the wrong version of Vanya. This one didn't even remember she was supposed to be the meek one. "Okay then, I'm bringing them with me." What's two more people to possibly lose in space and time?
Five	Ugh, this was up there with sad sack Luther. "They belong in this timeline."
Vanya	"Says who?" Other than an old man in knee socks. "Sissy deserves a life where she doesn't have to pretend to be someone she's not. And Harland? There's a name for what he has, we can get him the help he needs."
Five	"Vanya," he sighed, trying very hard not to lose his temper here. Because at least she wasn't talking about Kennedy.
Vanya	Five might have been trying to curb his temper, but Vanya had no problem losing hers. "Look, a mom and her 8-year-old son is not going to ruin the timeline, Five! They are insignificant!"
Five	"No one is insignificant!" he snapped. "I'm sorry, all right? But we can't take that risk. They have to stay." Look, she was the sibling he possibly liked the most so he was trying here. "Come on."
Vanya	"Why do you get to decide?" Vanya asked. "You're the reason we're stuck here in the first place." Oh, low blow.
Five	UM. RUDE MUCH? "If I did nothing, we'd all be dead right now, thanks to you," Five shot back.
Vanya	WOW, RUDE. "They're coming with me." And this was the sibling that Vanya was kind of the same height as so when she stood up straight, pushing her shoulders back it wasn't entirely sad.
Five	Don't start none, won't be none! "Vanya, do not test me right now," Five said, also standing to his full height. Aww, they were both so bitty.
Vanya	"I was about to say the same thing," Vanya said, white light starting to glow from her chest. Children, please.
Five	Five didn't back down from that, blue energy swirling around his clenched hands as he stared her down. He was pretty sure he could teleport around her ridiculous power if he tried hard enough.
Vanya	And Vanya was fairly confident she could take down a good chunk of this cornfield. But what would that accomplish, really? And she'd most likely take out Sissy's car. Which was the only reason Vanya was powering down a moment later. "Fine."
Five	"'Fine' what," Five demanded. Because he needed her on board here.
Vanya	Jeez, way to be Dad, Five. "I'll be there. I just need to say goodbye first."
Five	He was the most Dad out of them, it was true. Five sighed and shook his head. "Vanya, we don't have the time."
Vanya	"Well it's either that, or I'm not coming." So take that!
Five	"The alley," he reminded her. "Don't be late." And don't decide to stay in the past because of your big, lesbian awakening.

Five	Everyone should be here shortly if they were smart enough to realize this was their last chance to fix things. Which honestly should have been the first clue that something was going to go wrong. But for now, Five was snagging the Commission briefcase in order to be ready to go sooner rather than later.
Luther	Luther was the one to arrive first, which probably wasn't wholly unexpected. "Hey, where is everyone?"
Five	"You're the first." And the clock was ticking, you idiots!
Luther	"What?" Damn it, Allison, you said you'd be like five minutes! What kind of asshole expects seven people to get their shit together in less than ninety minutes?
Ben	Did the arrival of Ben-Klaus make up for the lack of literally all their other siblings? Because there he was, jogging up the alley. "Hey, hey! We made it!"
Klaus	Wait, wait. No, that was all Ben. Klaus was now finally taking back control of his body, probably much to the confusion of Luther and Five. "Get out! Out!" he shouted before hurling up something white and disgusting. But most importantly, also hurling up Ben.
Annie	And behind him, here came Annie, right on time! She was just giving her friend(s) a wide berth while they...worked some shit out. Probably for the best, considering the hurling, though she had way more disgust over that than someone who'd been puking her guts up for the past week had any right to. "Well. We made it," she said dryly, stepping around the vomit to approach Five and Luther. "Where's everyone else?" How long did it take to dig a grave, Diego?
Luther	"Nobody else is here!" Luther said, before having to avoid looking at Klaus for a moment. Because that was absolutely disgusting. "I can't believe Klaus made it before Allison or Diego."
Five	"We've got 8 minutes left," Five said, also sort of just ignoring that whole puking situation there. They were such a loving family.
Klaus	"I just had the strangest dream," Klaus said, looking a little woozy as he noticed everyone else.
Five	"Where are the others?!" Five demanded, looking at Annie and Luther since Klaus here was a wash.
Annie	"Diego's burying Elliot," Annie said stubbornly, though she was about a half-second away from sprinting off to go figure out where he might be doing that. "He should be here soon." Which, like. They were in a city, so...was Diego off digging a grave in a park or something? She should have probably thought of this sooner. Damn it.
Luther	"Allison..." Luther didn't want to admit that he let Allison do what she wanted. "Well, where's Vanya?" Turnabout!
Klaus	Yeah, maybe that was why Klaus was giving them both a confused look. "What's going on guys, are we going somewhere?"
Five	If you thought for a moment that Five would give an answer to where Vanya was, you'd be wrong. Because he was busy being filled with blind rage. "It was a simple task!" he shouted. "It was a simple. Task. All we had to do was be here! Didn't have to fight a giant sea monster, no. An army of mutants? Nein." Were those... were those options, Five? Were those things they could have done?
Annie	If Diego missed fighting a sea monster, Annie would never fucking hear the end of it. "Klaus, are you okay?" she asked, kneeling to check on him. Look, ranting and raving didn't seem to be getting them very far, and they had, like, no time. Annie clearly wasn't going to leave without Diego (psh), so she might as well make herself as useful as she could without furthering Five's conniption fit, here.
Luther	"I can't believe this." Actually...you know what? This was on brand for them.
Five	"It was handed to us on a silver platter!" Or on a kind of ugly briefcase.
Klaus	"Could you tell him to just moan a little softer?" Klaus asked Annie, making a face as he tried to get up and away from the Ben Puke. "My head is killing me."
Annie	"Five, calm down." Oh, that was a good idea. Did anyone else remember what had happened the last time Annie told a Hargreeves to calm down? (Maybe Five could also throw her through a wall just out of pure rage.) "Yelling isn't helping them get here any faster." And focusing on Klaus and being sort of schoolmarmish gave Annie something else to focus on besides where in the fuck Diego was. And Allison. And Vanya.
Five	He would teleport you so many times that you wouldn't have anything left to puke, Annie. "Listen to me, you useless puke bag, we just blew our chance to save the world!" Five shouted, whirling on them with all of that impotent rage because he couldn't kill his siblings. Ugh, life was so difficult. The briefcase he'd dug out from behind the dumpster started to make a whirring noise, maybe something akin to a bomb if you weren't familiar with time travel. "Goddamn it. Shit!"
Luther	Luther wasn't exactly experienced with time travel, so that definitely came off as a bomb to him. "Wait, what--" He'd believe it if Five tried to blow them up because they were all being stupid.
Annie	Considering Annie's passing familiarity with time travel, yeah, she was super going with 'bomb,' here. "Oh, fuck." So she did what seemed like the only thing to do, in the moment. She maneuvered to put her body between Klaus and the bomb, since Luther and Five both seemed pretty capable of getting away from it under their own power. (And she was going to be so mad if she got killed shielding Klaus Hargreeves from a bomb in the 60s. Like, of all the ways she figured she'd go out.)
Five	Five snatched it up and hurled it up into the air above them where it didn't explode, so much as bloop out of existence. Which was probably a relief to everyone involved. "We were that close. That close." And of course he couldn't just take off without the rest of them. Even if everyone was stupid and dead set on making things difficult.
Luther	Whew, Five hadn't been trying to take them all down due to their incompetence. "Well now what?" Luther asked.
Five	Five shot him a look like Luther that implied he'd had it up to here with their incompetence for sure. "Now nothing, Luther. Alright? Make your peace with God."
Luther	"What? What about Allison and Vanya?" Diego would be fine on his own, Luther wasn't worried about his whereabouts.
Annie	Annie actually shot Luther a little look before moving to get to her feet -- mindful of the wow-that's-still-so-much-vomit -- and offering a hand to Klaus. "All three of them. They should all be here." She knew perfectly well there was no way Diego would willingly stay in 1963 or go rogue if she, and all his siblings, were headed back to the present -- Kennedy or no. He'd sooner grab her and figure out a way to head back to 1963 to finish the job. (And then they'd slingshot back to slit Hitler's throat with a butter knife, right?)
Five	"Screw 'em, they should have been here." Welcome to the despair phase of grief. It was still pretty rage filled. Naturally.
Klaus	"What about Diego? He wouldn't just leave his girlfriend here. Something must have happened to him." Klaus said, totally not equipped to be a voice of reason here, guys.
Five	"Screw Diego. Screw everybody! I was better off on my own in the apocalypse." That wasn't true, but he was saying it anyway!
Luther	"Five!" Luther chided. "Come on."
Annie	"You don't mean that," Annie added evenly, blowing out a sigh. Come on, Five. Your anger was valid, but teamwork could prevail! "We can figure this out."
Five	You both were being too positive for him right now! "You know what? It's every sibling for himself now. How about that?" Five snapped, abandoning them in the the alley and to their doom. For now. He was just going into the apartment to sulk, honestly. Because the backup plan to the backup plan to the backup plan was infinitely the worst option for him.
Klaus	"...did Five get meaner?" Klaus asked. Because he was still kinda lost as to what was going on here, but that seemed harsh.
Luther	Yes. The answer was yes. Great, now Luther had to go into Number One mode. "Okay, uh, Klaus and Annie, go check on Allison," Luther said. "Make sure she's okay, then you guys find the others and meet us here. I'll handle Five."
Annie	"How come we get to prioritize your --" Not the time, Annie. And besides -- she was fully confident that Allison could handle herself, but she was even more confident that Diego could. "Fine," she said, maybe a skosh huffy about it. "Come on, Klaus. No more puking, please." Where had all of that even come from?
Klaus	"He's getting his possession privileges revoked," Klaus said, glaring at where Ben stood. Ghost-stood.
Ben	"I regret nothing," Ben replied without any guilt on his face to prove it.
Klaus	"Just stay out of me!"
Ben	"I regret nothing!" You were enjoying this half conversation, right, Annie?
Luther	Luther ignored the bickering, instead going back into Elliot's and preparing himself to fight more with Five. "Hey, Five, doomsday is still coming. We gotta think of a new plan."
Five	"Don't you get it, Luther? It's over, all right? We're already dead," Five said, definitely looking for something to drink so he could work up some courage for what would come next.
Luther	"Then what the hell are you doing?" He wasn't acting like someone that was ready to roll over and die.
Five	"I'm going to do the unthinkable." It would be terrible, Luther. Absolutely terrible.
Luther	"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Quit talking all dramatically, it made you sound like Dad.
Five	No, and you couldn't make him. "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this," he said, nodding to himself before taking off without giving Luther any answers at all.
Luther	"Come to what?" Luther asked. "Five? Five!" God. Damn. It.